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GUITARS ARE LIKE SEX...


That's why I love Michael Schenker!

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Gratitude!


When I start feeling bummed out like I have been feeling lately, I know that it is time for me to do one of two things, either get falling down drunk or start thinking about gratitude.

Seeing as there is no alcohol readily available to me right now, I guess I'll go with the gratitude...

The Good Things

Being on my feet, even with crutches, beats the hell out of being in that wheelchair.

I've completed two musical projects and have a good idea for a third. I'd probably still be stuck on the first one, had this shit not happened to me.

I've had time to make new friends from all over the world.

As George Harrison so wisely said, "All Things Must Pass."

And to some extent, I shall always have my Michael...



I soulmate, even though we have never met..

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

What Is Bugging Me


I got on a scale last night, very carefully. This is something that I SHOULD NOT have done.

Thanks to the fucking moron bitch who can't see a pedestrian crossing the street, I have put on somewhere from 15 -20 pounds!

I wish her fatness...

NO! I wish her DEATH!
I do not forgive her for fucking up my life and I NEVER WILL!
I hope that she rots in HELL, because that is what I have felt like I was doing ever since this happened to me. I am tired of pretending to be nice. No amount of money can make up for what has been taken from me. I want to see her suffer...

Oh, I am certain that there is more than just the weight gain playing into this, but it was the last straw.

I am a vain creature. I have always prided myself on my youthful appearence and attitude. This experience has left me feeling stripped of that, leaving me wanting to do nothing more than see how far I can skink into the depths of my many addictions...

Give me alcohol, someone
PLEASE!

What I Should Be Driving

An insightful bit of Blogthingishness...

You Should Drive a Ford Shelby Mustang Cobra

You have an extreme need for speed, even when you're not in a hurry.
And while your flying by, you don't want to look like every other car on the road!


I found these results to be quite interesting, considering the fact that my very first car was a Ford Mustang II.
Also note that the car in the picture is red...
I think that everbody knows about my ongoing love affair with red cars.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Manic Monday

It's time for Lisa's meme again!

What do you feel is the biggest waste of time?
Quite frankly, I believe that the American system of public education is the biggest waste of time that there is. After we teach our children the basics, we continually teach the same useless garbage over and over in different degrees. They learn algebra, but not how to balance a checkbook. They learn biology, but not how fix a meal for themselves or how to sew on a button....
To make matters worse, the education that you need to get a decent job is mostly just as useless, and beyond the free public system, so you get to pay out of your own pocket to learn still more useless crap.
After that, if you're lucky, you might get a good job, but it's more likely you'll end up working at McDonalds

Forgive me. I'm really down on the American education system.

If I knew then what I know now, I ....
Would have got my band together and hit the road. It's better to have tried and failed than to never know. Life offers very few second chances...

How do you feel your life has changed over the past year?
One thing is certain, it hasn't changed for the better.
Once a train wreck, always a train wreck it would seem...
Someone give me a drink!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

I'm No Dummy

And this fact has been certified by the good folks at Blogthings.

You Are a Smart American

You know a lot about US history, and you're opinions are probably well informed.
Congratulations on bucking stereotypes. Now go show some foreigners how smart Americans can be.


So don't go lumping me in with some of my other DUMB countrymen...M'kay?!

My Life Rating Certificate

My life has been rated:
Click to find out your rating!
Suitable for 18 years or older. This is real life. Anything in this category is considered to be of subject matter relating to adult life, that happens day in and day out. Walking down the street is an 18 certificate. You have a life, well done.

See what your rating is!
Created by Bart King

Tee hee! I'm not suitable for children!

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Missing One Of The Great Ones

Today would have been George Harrison's sixty-fourth birthday, were he still with us.

George was a very inspirational person to me, both as a guitarist and as a human being.



Certainly I am not alone in missing him today.

If I Were A Movie...

'Cos sometimes it is necessary to post utter silliness...



Film Noir

You are artistic, mysterious, and above all else unconventional. Your view of the world can be somewhat cynical at times. You place a lot of emphasis on creativity and have the ability to think outside of the box.

Which Classic Movie Genre Do You Belong In?

Friday, February 23, 2007

Beware Of The Dreaded Skankalope!

All men over the age of 40 need to beware of this fearsome beast.It appears to be attractive at first, possibly because the skankalope is a youthful creature, but eventually this horrid beast will show its true colors and steal everything she can from her unwitting male victim...



The skankalope cares about no one but herself. She will breed merely to extract money from her victim. Money is one of her favorite things. If a victim's supply runs short before she is done with him, she will go after whatever he has left. Often, this is only his pride. The skankalope thoroughly enjoys destroying it...

Some examples of skankalopes: Bella Piper; My ex sister-in-law, Lynn; my current sister-in-law, Casey

The skankalope is an easy beast to avoid. All that a man has to do is use a bit of the brains that god gave him and keep his relationships restricted to women his own age (age difference of less than 10 years)!

Stop thinking with the nether brain fellas, and protect yourselves!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

About "The Estanged One"

The good folks at blogthings have devised a quiz to determine exactly what is wrong with him.

Here is what they had to say...

Your Ex is Dependent

Your ex is dependent on others from almost everything - and has trouble accepting responsibility.
Your ex is not able to be independent and fears being alone.
People with dependent personality disorder feel helpless when a relationship ends and need constant reassurance.
Sound at all familiar?


I wonder what they'd have to say about Linda and the Bella-bitch...

Thursday Thirteen



Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent for good little Catholic girls like myself (LOL). One of our strange customs is to not eat any meat (for some odd reason, seafood is NOT considered meat) on the Fridays during this holy season, thus inspiring this week's thirteen:

Thirteen things that I could have for dinner tomorrow

1. Cheese Pizza
2. Macaroni & cheese
3. Cheese ravioli
4. Spaghetti with marinara sauce
5. Garden Burgers
6. Veggie lasagne
7. Eggplant parmesean
8. Huevos rancheros
9. Vegetable mei fun
10. Toasted cheese sandwiches
11. Black bean burritos
12. Zucchini "crab" cakes
13. Quesadillas

Please note that I did not go the seafood route on any of these.
(Zucchini crab cakes contain no crab meat!)

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

If You Ever Need A Good Laugh

Go, dig out some older CDs and read the liner notes to see who the artist is thanking.

Often only shortly after the release of said CDs, the artists feel more like choking these people than thanking them.
Really, if I were ever to be a part of such a thing, I would never thank anybody by name.
"My deepest thanks go out to my friends and family, you know who you are," has to be the best way of doing this. Then there would be no looking back at a later date to see myself gushing over an ex who after the CD's realease did everything humanly possible to make my life miserable...

In case you're wondering, Michael thanked the Bella bitch profusely on several of his albums...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

What I Did Today

Got depressed all over again at the prospect of six more weeks before I might be able to walk unassisted.

Had a couple of Bahama Mamas at The Hard Rock Cafe to try to counteract those miserable feelings. I think that I needed four...

Purchased a pair of "kiddie crutches" with my doctor's perscription.
I'm a shrimp!

Went about learning how to use said crutches...
I'll get the hang of it eventually!

Got an idea for my next songwriting project...
What You Mean To Me
Yeah, another one for Michael....

Monday, February 19, 2007

Nervous...

Tomorrow morning...
I've been waiting so long...
I should be walking
What else will I have to do?
How long before I must return to work?
I want my life back to the way it was in November.
How much longer must I wait?

Hopefully, not too long.

Maybe in celebration I will find the courage t send The Sun Will Shine Again to Michael...

Manic Monday

It's time for Lisa's meme again!

Life

What is the quality that you like least about yourself?

I am the almighty Queen of The Procratinators!

Although I may joke about this title, it is definitely not a good thing. I often put things off for so long that it becomes damned near impossible to get them done!

My life would be simpler if...
I were not such a coward. Fear has prevented me from doing a lot of things, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of ridicule, etc....

Do you generally take the high road or the low road?
"You take the high road
And I'll take the low road
And I'll be in Scottland before ye...."
Dammit, why am I not in Scottland yet!

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
My addictive personality...
On the wagon, off the wagon...
When my addictions bring me pleasure, I enjoy them immensely. When they don't, I hop on the wagon again...

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Something To Giggle About

My weekly top artists for last week...



Argh! Donnie Iris makes the top 10 two weeks in a row....

That's so Pittsburgh that it scares me!

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Just The Facts...

I like to smoke.


I like to drink.



I enjoy using all sorts of profanity!



If this offends you, I do not apologize. I must be who I am. Maybe someday I'll get things straight, but not until I'm ready. I just don't want to give up certain parts of myself yet.

If you can't handle me as I am


As soon as I'm able I'm buying a big bottle of vodka, a carton of cigarettes, and sending a big FUCK YOU to anybody who says for me to quit.

I am not interested in living a long life if I must feel as though I am spending it here...

Friday, February 16, 2007

Old Fart Metal

This is what I have been accused of listening to.
Would the child who coined the phrase please elaborate?

It's not that I take offense, I'm 45, I really don't expect some silly 17 year old kid to like the same music that I do, BUT....

Is "old fart metal" the type of metal listened to by old farts?
(I guess that to a 17 year old, I would be considered an old fart)

or

Is "old fart metal" the type of metal made by old farts?
(Yeah, the guys in most of the bands I listen to are around my age...)

If the latter is the case, do you really want to apply that term to Michael Schenker?



Michael is a pretty big guy and I'm told that he has quite a temper...
Do you really want to take the chance that he doesn't mind being called an old fart?

The Sun Will Shine Again

That's what Jari Tiura told Michael back in September, just before the great sulk began. He also said that it would be a great title for the next album...

Now, that album would have to have a title track, so I have taken it upon myself to write the lyrics for it. I completed them today. Now I need only work up the courage to email them to Michael....

Oh, hell, perhaps he will stumble upon them here first...

The Sun Will Shine Again

I'm all alone
I'm on my own
Like I've never been before
Will you love me
And set me free
Or just walk out of the door
Can I go on another day
I don't want to feel this way...

The bottle in my hand just might be my only friend
One more time I watch my dreams coming to an end
All around there seems to be only dark clouds and rain
But I'll hold on one more day 'cos the sun will shine again

You have been gone
So very long
I still don't know what to do
You bring me down
Kick me around
But still I'm loving you
There has to be a better way
I'm tired of feeling this way...

What I need is someone who will love me to the end
Someone who is not afraid to call me a friend
All around there seems to be only dark clouds and rain
But I'll hold on one more day 'cos the sun will shine again

So now I'm here
Forgetting fear
Yes now I know what to do
Let go of love
That never was
I won't hold on to you
Yes I have found a better way
I'm living my life day by day

Everything that I need is found inside my own heart
No more empty promises to tear me apart
Now I see a break to all of the dark clouds and rain
'Cos I held on one more day for the sun to shine again


With all of my love for Michael Schenker
2/16/07

Thursday, February 15, 2007

I Love You, Michael

And I understand the reasoning behind all of those Thank You albums.
As a matter of fact, I really would like to purchase a copy of this one...



What I hadn't already deduced about these albums is made painfully obvious by the tracklisting:

It's All About Love
Just Do It
Take Me
Thank You
I Learn From You
It's Tuff But Possible
The Big Picture and It's Details
I Am Greatful
Our Journey
Focus On Good
The Creator


Those are some very recovery oriented titles, but judging by the fact that yet another Thank You album followed this one, it also becomes obvious that the road to recovery is a lot 'tuffer' than you may have expected...

Hey, no one understands this as much as I do. Slipping off the 12 steps is something I've done as well...

But Michael....
I know that English is not your first language, not everyone else does. You really should have had someone spell & grammar check those song titles. They're from the heart, and it would be a shame if someone laughed them off because of spelling and grammatical errors....

I can hear the nasties now...
"He's not just a drunk, he's stupid, too!"

I know that it's not true, and so do you, but we both know that there are a lot of people out there who seem to derive pleasure from hurting you. Don't give them this kind of ammunition...

Be grateful for all of us who love you through this tough journey to recovery with all of its trials...

Understand?

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

On Valentine's Day

Here is a Valentine for my beloved Michael....
(Illustrated with smilies)



In case I haven't told you recently



If only we could be together, there are so many things that we could do, like...





and



So, Michael, do you want to

?

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Gratitude!


In order for me to keep things in the proper perspective, I find it helpful to occasionally post about the things that I am thankful for...

I am extremely thankful that my disability is not permanent. A week from now I am assured that I will be on my feet again!

I need to bare my heart and soul occasionally. I am very thankful that my nasty blogstalker from my other blogs has never stumbled upon this very private place...

I am thankful for my many internet friends...
Maria, Marius, Daniel & Lisa
to name just a few.
Their words of encouragement when I am feeling down are appreciated more than I could ever express in words.

Of course, I am thankful for all of the beauty in the world, with this being the most beautiful thing of all...



Oh, how I love that man!
If only he knew...

I'm Good!

Or at least a major percentage of me is good.
The Gematriculator does not lie...

This site is certified 81% GOOD by the Gematriculator

Or so I am told...

Monday, February 12, 2007

Manic Monday

It's time for Lisa's meme again!

Mr. Sandman

Do you have a regular bedtime routine that helps you get to sleep?

My injury has my entire routine disrupted for the time being, since I am neither working nor in my own home. Soon things will go back to normal (a week or so) and I will once again snuggle up with my favorite satin pillow while listening to Thank You 4 to drift off into a beautiful land of slumber filled with sweet dreams of Michael Schenker.

On average, how many hours of sleep do you get each night?
When I'm working my normal schedule, I usually get only 4 hours of sleep at night and take a nap for an hour or two when I get home fom work. On the weekends I may sleep much longer...

How many hours do you actually require and/or like to have?
As long as I can get six hours of sleep sometime in a 24 hour period, I'm okay. If I can get a little more, that's great. If I get too much, it's as bad as if I didn't sleep at all.

How do you deal with insomnia?
I don't require a lot of sleep, so insomnia isn't much of an issue for me.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Not Much Longer

The number of days that I will be spending in this miserable wheelchair are finally down to single digit numbers. Why, oh, why am I feeling so
BLUE?

And what can I do to quit feeling this way?

I can:

Put Thank You 4 on repeat and allow it to play 24/7...

Make a bunch of silly little dolls...



of Michael



or of myself,
as I hope to appear in a week or so.

Scroll down to the picture of Michael in a previous post and fantasize about all of the fun things I'd like to do with him.

Fantasize about all of the evil things that I'd like to do to "the estranged one" for not keeping his promises to his children...

That should keep me suitably occupied for a while..

I'd Choose Love

Do you hear that , Michael?! I don't care how much money you owe to whom...
I love you, and that's all that matters.

The people at Blogthings have verified it!

You Would Choose Love

Money may buy a little happiness, but not the happiness of true love.
You rather have a true soulmate than a private jet.
And while many people may claim they would choose love too...
You're one of the few who would really do it.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Should I Be Feeling Guilty?

I am married to a man who I do not love. We do not live together. It is a strange situation. Why neither of us has never filed for divorce... well we are a real pair of odd ones, that's all I can say on my behalf.

I know that no matter how well we may get on while not living together, the minute we try the husband and wife thing all goes to hell in a handbasket. It just was not meant to be, and I know it..

But right now I am using that man for everything I can get from him. He's painting my house, feeding my pets, running errands for me...
I fear that he may be expecting more from me (9 1/2 short days from now) than I am willing or able to offer.
I still do not love him. I may be grateful to him, but that is all...

Good lord, I am using him. I know it and I feel guilty about it, but not guilty enough to quit.

Friday, February 09, 2007

Getting Out

Woo Hoo!

I'm going out to dinner today!
I don't care how fucking cold it is. I'm going outside of the walls of these three rooms!

I may just burst from the excitement...

Mmmm... I get to have shrimp, too!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

From Me To Michael

A very special Blogthing candy heart...

The Candy Heart You Should Give Is:

To: Michael Schenker
From: She-Schenker

Thursday Thirteen



As the end of my period of torture draws near, I begin to wonder if I will make it past these next 11 1/2 days. I find that in the absence of massive quantities of alcohol, a little bit of fantasy goes a LONG way.....

Thirteen things that I fantasize about while looking at this picture



1. Playing the guitar that is apparently being offered to me.

2. Throwing Michael on that leopard skin sofa in the background and having my way with him.

3. Removing that leather jacket, then the t-shirt, then....

4. Running my fingers through all of that beautiful naturally blonde hair.

5. Letting those same fingers enjoy the softness of all af that lovely pale skin.

6. Removing those dark glasses and gazing into the most beautiful blue eyes in the world!

7. Holding him close and assuring him that I will not let anyone hurt him ever again!

8. Kissing every single inch of that body.

9. Making everyone who has ever hurt him pay!

10. Spending hours on end writing music with him.

11. Spending even more time in deep and meaningful conversation with him.

12. Clipping the "stringy monsters" off his guitar.

13. Having my way with Michael, repeatedly, in places other than that sofa...

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

New Blogthing!

'Cos we all know that these things are just one of my many addictions!

What SheSchenker Means
S is for Stunning

H is for Honest

E is for Emotional

S is for Special

C is for Chipper

H is for Humorous

E is for Extraordinary

N is for Naughty

K is for Kinky

E is for Exquisite

R is for Radical

Ethelitis!

Many moons ago, when I was first hired by the USPS, there was another carrier in our office whose name was Ethel. She was a lovely lady who was rapidly nearing retirement age. She was famous for being frequently heard uttering the words "I'm sick of it!" under her breath. And so because of this it is said that anyone feeling particularly sick of it is suffering from a case of Ethelitis.

I have come down with a BAD case of Ethelitis...

My symptoms:

I am sick of this cold weather!

I am sick of not being able to take a bath.

I am sick of this goddamned wheelchair!

I am sick of insurance companies...

I am sick of feeling that I have no control over my own life....

A partial cure is down the road in about 12 1/2 days....

But a little bit of this would go a LONG way in treating my symptoms until then...



Well, I could wrap him around myself to keep warm, and THAT would make me forget about all of the other stuff!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Only Two Weeks Left

To my sentence of misery. In a little less than two weeks from now I should be on my feet again, however wobbly I may be! This will be a very good thing because...

I am sick of not being able to do things for myself.

I want to take a proper bath.

I am sick of shivering. It's damned difficult to get warm when you can't move around.

Misery does not love company! I'm tired of feeling as though I am responsible for making those around me as miserable as I am.

I want to flush!
(Enough said)

I want to see something outside of these three rooms!

I can't run away from my problems when I can't even walk!

This concludes the bitch session for today....

I now leave you with another of those silly little Michael Schenker dolls...

Monday, February 05, 2007

Testing

In my boredom, I have now switched to the new version of Blogger.
So far it seems to be a total waste. I've never much cared for tags or ads. As a matter of fact, I've worked really hard to keep these things OFF my blogs. Now they are considered features. Features that I won't be using.

Oh this blasted injury thing has turned me into a worse bitching machine than I ever was. It's getting to be so that I can barely stand myself. Thank the gods that it should be mostly over in two weeks. I miss having control of my own life.

And I'm so bloody bored!



Really! There are only so many of these silly little Michael Schenker dolls that I can make in a day...

Manic Monday

It's time for Lisa's meme again!

Flow It, Show It- Hair, Hair, Hair!

Do you enjoy having your hair cut/styled?

Not really, because the stylists never seem to do what you ask them to. I usually come home and immediately restyle my hair, and the cut is almost always much too short. I seldom like a new haircut until it has grown out for at least two weeks.

How often do you have your hair cut?
Three or four times a year, more often if I'm inclined to wear a shorter style, less often if I wear it longer...

Are you particular about what shampoo/conditioner/other hair products you use? What are your favorites?
I was blessed with a thick healthy head of hair that makes horses jealous! I'm not very particular about hair care products, as long as the manufacturer does NO animal testing.

Do you think a man should accept his baldness or do the comb over/ toupee/Hair Club for men route?
I think that the man should do what he is the most comfortable with. It's his head after all...

What steps would you take if you started to lose your hair?
Let's face it, I'd be buying wigs and hairpieces like crazy, and maybe a hat or two....

Sunday, February 04, 2007

A Matter For Contemplation

As I sit here freezing and bored, I find myself contemplating the strangest things. Of these things my favorite is:

Which would be more fun, getting drunk with Michael Schenker or getting sober with him?

On the side of of getting drunk with him, well, that could certainly be loads of fun, especially if it included a threesome involving his brother. Lack of inhibition as a result of alcohol consumtion can make for some really incredible sex...
The downside is that it might not be remembered the next morning.

On the side of getting sober with him, we have the fact that I'd be exposed to all of those sweet vulnerable parts of him that I love so much.

So what it comes down to is, do I prefer body or soul....

Considering my fierce desire to protect Michael from the world around him, I guess that I actually prefer his soul to his body (and it's a damned lovely body!)...

Maybe I can have my cake and eat it too. I could get drunk with him and THEN we could sober up together...

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Michael's New Band!

There is a band name generator over on Blogthings.
Just for fun, I decided to plug in Michael Schenker's name and see what they think his band should be called...

Here are the results...

Your Band Name is:

The Blow Up Uncle


~giggles~

What The Music Says

Of the approximately 17,000 tracks that I have listened to since mid-July, these are the numbers on my top four artists...

Michael Schenker Group - 5987
Michael Schenker - 3637
Scorpions - 2314
UFO - 502


Does anyone else see the common thread here?

Yes, Michael Schenker is a part of every one of them...

And as I collect more material by the McAuley-Schenker Group, that band will also make its way into the top five...

'COS I LOVE MICHAEL!!!

Friday, February 02, 2007

TGIF

Thank god it's Friday.
This is the one night of the week that I thoroughly enjoy. It is also the only night of the week when every show on prime time television is a good one.

Let's hear it for the new episodes tonight:

Ghost Whisperer 8:00 PM
Monk 9:00 PM
Psych 10:00 PM

My sanity is preserved by good TV for at least one night a week!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Thursday Thirteen



The number of days to my confinement is finally starting to dwindle to a reasonable number. Only 19 more days....
But I still might go insane from boredom, so this week's thirteen is:

Thirteen boredom-busting things that I can do to preserve my sanity

1. Write lots of music, all inspired by the one that I love...

2. Drift of into a land of fantasy where Michael Schenker shares my bed.

3. Download lots of music here!

4. Find some of my old cross stitch kits.

4. Call Bonnie who is also off work for a week or two with an injury and co-miserate!

5. Start a bonfire in the livingroom to keep warm!

6. Try to think of topics for the next two Hump Day Hunts, my meme over on Foto Pherrets.

7. Eat ramen noodles! Mmmmmmm....

8. Hope desperately to hear from my buddy, Maria!

9. Take silly internet quizzes and post the results anywhere that I can!

10. Take a long nap. Zzzzzz...

11. Drink massive quantities of alcohol, if only someone would buy me some!

12. Plan all of the things that I want to do in 19 days.

13. Daydream about Michael Schenker some more...