<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d34357274\x26blogName\x3dGuitars+Are+Like+Sex...\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dSILVER\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://sheschenker.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://sheschenker.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-1263406536145113566', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script> <div id="header">

GUITARS ARE LIKE SEX...


That's why I love Michael Schenker!

Monday, April 30, 2007

Manic Monday

What new course would you like to see added to the nation's school curriculum?
Fear and misunderstanding is the basis of so much hatred in the world. In spite of the "seperation of church and state", I think that our children need to be taught a course on the beliefs of all world religions. Understanding is the key to tolerance, which is the key to peace, something which this world desperately needs!

Where is your favorite place to sit when at home?
Where I am right now...
In front of the computer!

Do you buy anything in bulk? If so, what?
Michael and I are but two people. There is not much need to buy anything for us in bulk.
Three cats and a dog are an entirely different story. Pet food and kitty litter are much cheaper when purchased in bulk!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

A Flock Of Angry Sheep

I went to church today...
The roof did not fall in!

Today was Good Shepherd Sunday...

In explaining why we all need Jesus as our good shepherd, quoth Father David:

"Sheep are stupid. They like to wander off. They have no claws or fangs to defend themselves if they are attacked..."

I wonder what the sheep would think if they heard Father David saying this...



I can't help but picturing him being chased down and attacked by a flock of angry sheep...



Quoth the angry sheep:

"Don't call me stupid!"

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Yawn!

I'm so tired! It has been nearly a year since I've worked a six-day week. Quite frankly, I didn't miss it. My sub wanted to go to some fool's wedding, and being the nice, accommmodating person that I am, I agreed to work in her place today.

I am NOT so nice that this favor didn't come with a pricetag, She is working on Monday!

I may be exhausted now, but I'll be feeling great on Monday morning...

Friday, April 27, 2007

Once Upon A Time

Someone told me to end my marriage.
"You are not happy," I was told.
"You need to end it quickly, for the longer you hang on, the more difficult things will become..."

Foolish me! I did not heed this advice.
I've tried again with the estranged one more times than anyone can count. It always ends the same way, with a lot of screaming and yelling and him going out the door.
We just are not compatible.
Hell, he and his children are not compatible. He's an ass! At 21 and 15 his sons have figured that out...

I wish that there was a way to end this quickly and painlessly now, but there is not.

I guess I should have listened...

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Thursday Thirteen



Quite honestly, I know that I am far from perfect, but that doesn't mean I don't try...

Thirteen things to know to help me (or anyone) to be a better person

1. Do not stand in judgement of anyone until you have walked a mile in his/her shoes.

2. Never judge anyone by appearance. Good people come in all shapes, sizes and colors (so do bad ones).

3. If you don't have something kind to say, remain silent.

4. Stand up for the people that you care about, even if you believe them to be wrong.

5. If you can help someone, do!

6. As tempting as it may be to respond in kind to someone who has hurt you, don't stoop to her (his) level. Ignore her (him).

7. Remember that spirituality is a very personal thing. Do not try to force others to believe what you do.

8. Anything that is good is even better when it is shared.

9. Never hold a grudge. There is no sense in letting some fool live rent-free in your head.

10. Don't make promises that you can't (or won't) keep.

11. Live your life one day at a time.

12. Remember that everybody is loved by someone...

13. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

God Bless The Smirnoffs...

I am in solitude. The boy, Michael, is off in Harrisburg on a school trip. The man who is a plague on my existence (The Estranged One) has once more taken off for parts unknown...

In order to celebrate my solitude, I made a small purchase at the local liquor store, a bottle of vodka!
Ooo.. They now make the stuff in flavors! I decided on the cranberry. Quite tasty with a bit of orange juice. I've had three already. Contemplating a fourth...

Gotta finish it off so I can try some of the other flavors!

I am NOT an alcoholic!
(Denial is such a beautiful thing!)

Monday, April 23, 2007

Michael Schenker Is A Capricorn...

Thus I was delighted by what this had to say...

Scorpio



You are very dominant in bed, and you like to control your relationship in general.
You are so intense in the sack that none of your partners will ever forget you. You are an amazing lover, because you like to have an equal amount of give and take.
Sex matches: Cancer, Capricorn, Pisces

Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

Manic Monday

For someone that you love deeply would you be willing to move to a foreign country knowing that there would be little chance of seeing your friends and family again?
I can definitely see myself living happily in Germany with this man...



Besides, there would still be plenty of ways to keep in touch with old friends and family, even if I could not physically 'see' them...

If you could spend a year in perfect happiness but afterward remember nothing of the experience, would you do it?
For happiness to be perfect, it must leave me with memories...
My answer, then, is no.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Too Beautiful For Words



What can I say?
I worship at the altar of Schenker!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Ain't That The Truth!

Would you expect any different results from my addictive personality?

You Are The Id

You don't think, you just do. Consequences be damned.
You are driven by pleasure - and you tend to be addicted to excess.
At times, you can be highly reactive. You're always ready for a fight.
You also have a high sex drive, and it's been known to get you in trouble!

Friday, April 20, 2007

A Trip To Hell

At least that is where I feel as though I've been after my payday trips to Wal Mart!

I bought myself some rather interesting things there, so I guess it was worth the suffering...

Every once in a while I make a great musical find there...



This limited edition copy of Iron Maiden's Somewhere In Time was one of those finds.
I've gotta tell my computer that I want it to open the bonus material, videos and photos. Yay!

I also found myself (don't laugh) a Pokemon game for my newly acquired Nintendo Gameboy DS.
Pokemon games are about the only ones that I can figure out how to play!

I also made a tasty breakfast discovery...

Mmmmm... Meatless, organic, low-fat, and DELICIOUS!
What more could a girl want?
(Besides Michael Schenker, that is)

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Thursday Thirteen



No matter how bad an experience is, you can always learn something from it, perhaps even lots of things.

Thirteen things that I learned from my accident and the long recovery period following it

1. I have plenty of good friends who were there for me when I was feeling miserable and down on myself. I love these people. There may be a few nasty wankers out there, but they just don't matter...

2. There is no sense to worrying about the future. Everything can be changed completely in the wink of an eye.

3. Being confined to a wheelchair is difficult and no fun at all. The words "handicapped accessible" are a joke. My heart goes out to those who must spend their lives like this.

4. Collecting a paycheck while doing absolutely nothing gets boring really fast.

5.My guitars are my friends! Writing music helped me to maintain my sanity.

6. Just sitting around adds pounds. Fortunately they do seem to be coming off more easily than I expected.

7. There are no kitties like MY kitties.

8. Ditto for my doggies!

9. My job is not as bad as I used to think it was.

10. BOB is not as bad as I used to think he was.
(Don't tell him I said that!)

11. Exercise is fun, especially when you're with nice people

12. I can literally listen to Michael Schenker all day long. In fact, I have!

13. Banking my sick leave was one of very few wise decisions that I've made in my life.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Randomness

Damn! I've got a miserable headache. Where the hell did it come from and why won't it go away?

It has been concluded that the REAL reason I was so anxious to get back to work was for all of the excitement that my job adds to my life.
Oh, yeah! Losing the brakes on your vehicle is SO exciting!

It takes a lot of nerve to walk into a house where you neither live nor pay the gas bill and turn the thermostat down to 60!

Why does every fuctard in town have to park in front of my house?!

I'm feeling cranky. If I had stopped at the state store and bought that bottle of vodka I've been craving, I probably wouldn't be so cranky.

Michael Schenker...



I wanna go to bed! I'd want to go there even more if Michael Schenker were in there!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Manic Monday

If your house was burning and you only had time to rescue three non-living things what would they be?
Good God! I have FOUR guitars!
Can I save all four of them, pretty please?!
If I have to leave one behind, I guess it would be my black Stratocaster, since it is the least expensive and the easiest to replace.
Rudolf, my Fender 12 string gets rescued first, no matter what!

If you were to take a week long car trip with your family or friends, what complaint are you most likely to hear from your fellow travelers? What complaint would they most likely hear from you?
Their complaint: "Could you PLEASE turn that music down!"
My complaint: "Do we really have to get up so early?"

What or who encourages the child in you to come out and play?
My pets and my sons...
A lot alike, they are!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

The Word According To Blogthings

I've always claimed that this is the case for me. Now it has been verified by those wise folks over at Blogthings.

You Are Agnostic

God? Religion? Maybe... you're just not sure.
You're still figuring out your spiritual path... or figuring out you really don't care.
You believe that no one really can know the true story about religion or God.
So you might as well relax a little. You'll go crazy trying make sense of it all.


Well, golly, gee! There is a whole chapter dedicated to fools like me in the AA Big Book. I just can't seem to grasp the whole God thing. Perhaps that's why I'm off the wagon...

Waiting for a fall, but I don't rightfully give a shit!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Rhetorical Questions

These are good to give you a giggle!

If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Why is the time when the traffic is slowest called rush-hour?

What's the speed of dark?

If psycics can predict lottery numbers, why are they still working?

If you run backwards will you gain weight?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you need to buy her friends?

What happens when you get scared half-to-death twice?

Can a blind person feel blue?

How can a house burn up when it burns down?

Are you telling the truth when you lie in bed?

If your vacuum cleaner really sucks, is it a bad thing?

How do you know when a Smurf suffocates?

Despite the cost of living, why does it remain so popular?

If a word in a dictionary is misspelled, how would you know?

In Chinese why are the words for crisis and opportunity the same?

Why does X stand for a kiss?

Why does O stand for a hug?

Why is the alphabet in that order?

How does skating on thin ice get you into hot water?

Why are they called stands when there made for sitting?

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

When cheese gets its picture taken what does it say?

Why are they called non-stick pans?
Is there a law saying your not allowed to put sticks in them?

Why are a wise-man and a wise-guy opposites?

If work is so terrific how come they have to pay you to do it?

Should crematoriums give discounts for those who died in fires?

Is it possible to have a civil-war?

If the #2 pencil the most popular, why is it still #2?

Do tea makers have coffee breaks?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Why do they announce power outages on TV?

Do you need a silencer when you shoot a mime?

Why do you press harder on the remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

How can batteries die?

If its zero degrees tonight, and tomorrow it's meant to be twice as cold, how cold will it be?

Why are buildings called buildings when there finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

Why is it that when you tell a man there are 400 billion stars he will believe you, but when you tell him there's wet paint he has to touch it?

Who's cruel idea was it to put a 'S' in 'lisp'?

Do you find it unnerving that what doctors do is called 'practice'?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell is it homeless or naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Friday, April 13, 2007

My Bitchiness Quotient

I actually scored lower than I thought I would...

You Are 63% Bitchy

While you may not think of yourself as the ice queen, admit it, you're often in a bad mood.
And it's those around you who often bear the brunt of your annoyance, even if they haven't done anything wrong!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Thursday Thirteen



Last.FM stats can be so misleading. They show the most frequently played tracks from my computers only...

Keeping this in mind, my thirteen for the week is as follows:

My thirteen favorite "Schenker Songs"



(Songs by either brother or his band, Rudolf or Michael)

1. Coast To Coast - Scorpions (both)
2. At The End Of The Day - Michael Schenker
3. Doctor Doctor - UFO (Michael)
4. Soul Behind The Face - Scorpions (Rudolf)
5. We Believe In Love - McAuley- Schenker Group (Michael)
6. Rock And Roll Believer - Michael Schenker Group
7.Hold Me Tight - Scorpions (Rudolf)
8. Dreams Inside - Michael Schenker Group
9. Only You Can Rock Me - UFO (Michael)
10. Another Piece Of Meat - Scorpions (both)
11. Du Bist So Schmutzig - Scorpions (Rudolf)
12. The Mess I've Made - Michael Schenker Group
13. My Time's Up - Michael Schenker Group

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Thoughts For Today

Spring is here. Why isn't the weather warmer?

Being back to work is good. I only wish that it didn't leave me so tired.
Oh well, there is always the weekend...

To err is human, but to really screw things up just let an insurance company (or two) get involved!

A new song is floating around in my head. Schenker inspired, of course! I wish these things would wait to pop into my head until I get home from work. By the time I am able to write them down, they're gone...

Must exercise more, eat less...

Monday, April 09, 2007

Manic Monday

What flavor of ice cream best describes your personality?
Rocky Road. I can be sweet, but mostly I'm just nutty!

If your life was a weather vane, which direction would it be pointing right now?
The weathervane of my life would be, as always, spinning out of control...

What is one field or profession that you have never pursued, but that you think you would most likely have been quite good at?
~giggles~
Prostitute! (Just kidding)
Stand-up comic...

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Easter Reflections


Easter is a Christian holiday commemorating Christ's death and resurrection...
Don't tell that to the candy makers...
Or the chicken (egg) farmers.

I am not one to discuss my spiritual beliefs, I'm not even exactly sure what they are, but I do consider myself to be a Christian of sorts. Not along the lines of most who call themselves Christians, though...

I do not condemn anyone's lifestyle choices.
The Jesus that I know didn't either, and it would seem to me that the only people he ever really spoke out against were those self righteous people who behaved like many modern "Christians."

I do not claim to be saintly or pure.
I am a sinner with many sins.
If Jesus had to die for MY sins, I want it to be worth his while. I'd hate to think that he DIED just because I didn't say my prayers a couple of times!
(Oh, the twisted logic of the addictive personality!)

Seriously, even if I did not believe that Jesus was God, I'd take stock of his teachings. Think of how much better a place the world would be if we all loved each other as ourselves...

I Need Me A Cowboy!

At least, according to this blogthing...

You Are Thong Panties

Woman, you are one hell of a ride!
You're a total wild child - and you live for crazy times.
Men are attracted to you like flies to honey, even though they know they should stay away.
You need a expert cowboy who can keep in tune with your free spirit!

Dammit! Rudolf is the brother with the cowboy hat!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

I've Still Got It

Whatever the hell IT is...

It would seem that I am still attractive to seventeen year old boys! I had a nice little chat with one tonight at Wal Mart. He was quite impressed by the fact that I'm a metal head. When I told him that I listened to bands like Rammstein, Helloween, and Iron Maiden, he could hardly believe it.

We had a nice little chat and reccomended some music for each other. He was quite the cutie. Such a shame that he's jail bait (and younger than one of my children)!

Oh, I'm such an evil woman for having such thoughts...

Dammit, the only other group of men besides teenaged boys that finds me attractive is the senior citizens...

Given a choice between 17 and 70, I'll take 17!

Friday, April 06, 2007

I'm Dreaming Of A White EASTER?!

This probably should be the "Easter Carol" that we all sing around here this year. The weather seems to have forgotten that spring arroived a couple of weeks ago. For the last two days I have awakened to find a dusting of snow on my car...

I wonder...

Does this weather mean that we will only be getting white chocolate bunnies this year?!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Thursday Thirteen



Life has finally returned to normal. It's such a relief, I'm still on a natural high, but what shall I do when reality really sets in?!

Thirteen simple things that never fail to cheer me up

1. Hearing from an old friend
2. Finding a great new place to eat
3. Doggie lovin's
4. Losing a pound or two
5. Buying a new CD
6. Lambic beer
7. Pretty lights
8. A long bubble bath
9. Finding creative inspiration in something simple and ordinary
10. Silly cartoons
11. Free samples
12. An afternoon nap
13. Michael Schenker!



You DID know that last one was going to be on this list....
Didn't you?!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

It's Gratitude Time


Today was a great day for many reasons...

I got the okay to go back to work.
Because of this, I am finally back in my own home.
The nice guy at the T Mobile kiosk at the mall replaced my screwed up phone for me, FREE!
I got to do my first real workout since December.
I found two CDs at FYE, cheap!

Every once in a while, God smiles upon me. Today was one of those days...
My faith has been reaffirmed.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Manic Monday

Which of the seven dwarfs best personifies you?

Dopey!
For various reasons....

If you could change the custom of shaking hands, what would you replace it with?

Hugs are much nicer, doncha think?!
And it's difficult to hide anything while being hugged.

If you had to describe your disposition with meteorological terms, what would a typical forecast be like?

Stormy.
I'm very moody and prone to violent outbreaks of temper.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

This Is So True

Occasionally I come across one of these things that is totally off the mark, but not too often.
This one seems to hit the nail right on the head...

Your Psyche is Red

You are bright, bold, energetic, and intense.
Your upbeat, zany energy inspires those who are down.
Spontaneous and playful, you also have a courageous and fearless side.

When you are too red: you are angry, overprotective, and truly scary.

When you don't have enough red: you are depleted and lifeless.