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GUITARS ARE LIKE SEX...


That's why I love Michael Schenker!

Sunday, December 31, 2006

My Wishes For Michael In The New Year

May all of your legal problems be solved.
May you experience the love that you so greatly deserve.
May you be free of the chains of addiction and co-dependency.
May the new year bring you peace of mind and heart.



And a blessed and happy new year to everyone else, too!

Saturday, December 30, 2006

I Want My Dreams

A funny thing that I've noticed since my accident. My sleep seems to be relatively dreamless. Perhaps it is because I am not at home. Perhaps it is because I can no longer listen to Thank You 4 as I slumber...

whatever it is, I miss my dreams. I want them back! They are probably the only opportunities I will ever have to jam with Michael and hold him as close as I would like...

Friday, December 29, 2006

I Wish...

I really wish that every trip that I make to Michael's website wouldn't leave me worrying about him...

Alas, I guess this will never be.

Again I ask myself, does ANYBODY love this man?
(For who he is, not as some sort of guitar playing machine)

I want to scream that I do, but fear that I'd come off as some sort of deranged freak. I'm honestly not. I really do care about Michael, as a person even more than as a musician. I can't stand to see him hurt, and people hurt him so much, so often. It makes me want to cry.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Thursday Thirteen



Thirteen things that I'd rather be doing right now

1. Dancing a jig, or doing any dance really!

2. Playing my 12 string guitar.

3. Washing my hair.

4. Taking a shower.

5. Playing the slots in Atlantic City.

6. Wearing my warm fleece snowman robe.

7. Listening to my Arachnophobiac CD.

8. Watching old movies on MY tv.

9. Knocking Rudolf Schenker around a bit, just for the fun of it!

10. Baking cookies.

11. Sucking down margaritas at Red Dawgs.

12. Holding Michael Schenker close and telling him that I love him.

13. Making sweet love to him...

Fat chance of me being able to do any of this with my currently fractured body part....

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Stupid Statement Of The Day

"It sucks that Michael can't play shows in the U.S. anymore."

Excuse me, but it isn't as if this is a forever thing.

Michael owes back child support. If he pays it or provides proof of prior payment...
Well, that's really the only thing blocking the whole U.S. tour thing...

SOME MONEY GRUBBING BITCH WHO HAS ALREADY GOT MORE FROM HIM THAN I'LL EVER GET FROM ANYBODY FOR MY KIDS!!!

Maybe Michael doesn't have the money to pay this sub-human piece of slime, or maybe (like me) he just finds it easier to hide away from his problems. I don't know...

No matter, I love Michael, and I'm sick, sick, SICK of seeing people discuss him like he's something less than human.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Searching For Ideas

Warding off boredom when you're restricted to two miserable rooms of the house is not an easy thing to do. I've enlisted help from some friends in my groups over on Last FM...
I belong to thirty-seven groups. I'm a group whore, I know!

The best suggestion that I have received is one that I start some silly group of my own over there. Something with a ridiculously long name...

Considering my feeelings about what that Voggis creep said about Michael, I'm thinking that the group that I start should be something like this:
Fans of Michael Schenker who love him unconditionally, realize that addiction is a disease, and would NEVER, EVER insult him or say anything unkind about him because they know that he is doing the best that he can!

It would definitely be fun to throw that creep out of the group were he to try to join...

Monday, December 25, 2006

Happy Holidays!



I hope that you all had a wonderful Christmas, or whatever holiday you celebrate.

I am so sorry that I was not able to post the twelve days of Christmas music in the way that I had planned. A little motor vehicle accident and hospital stay sorta got in the way.

Fear not... Christmas is NOT over until the feast of the Epiphany (January 6) so I will post five more songs as soon as my files become available to me.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Twelve Days Of Christmas Music

(Day Seven)


Did you ever wonder what would happen if Santa's elves went on strike? After all, they do an awful lot of work for little or no pay...

I give you:

Elf's Lament - Barenaked Ladies

Monday, December 18, 2006

Twelve Days Of Christmas Music

(Day Six)

Parrot heads celebrate Christmas, too!
It's a very good thing that they do, because we get Christmas songs like this one.

Run Rudolph Run - Jimmy Buffett

The Nerve Of Some People!

OK, I've got steam coming out of my ears. I'm so angry that I could spit!

Some 35 year old Norwegian

who calls himself Voggis over on Last FM left the following comment on Michael Schenker's fan page there:

"...tap tap tap...kablanga..kapow! Beware of the drunk axeman!"

I'm holding my tongue and my keyboard fingers in check, but I'd really like to respond to this jerk by saying something like this:

"Fuck you really hard dry with a 12 inch dildo!
Where do you get off, insulting Michael like that?
Who the fuck do you think that you are?
Have you walked a mile (or even a yard) in his shoes?
Alcoholism/addiction is a DISEASE, you moron!
Would you insult someone for having cancer?
It's the same damned thing, so perhaps you would...

'Beware of the drunk axeman' indeed!
Perhaps you had best beware of the drunk axewoman, namely ME, 'cos I'd like to kick your ass!"


You can see why I must exercise a bit of self control, as I'm sure that posting such a response would get me banned from the site.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Twelve Days Of Christmas Music

(Day Five)

Fa la la la la la la la!

Let's deck the halls heavy metal style with a little help fom these guys...



Gotta love those wigs!

I give you:

Deck The Halls - Twisted Sister

Wedding Invitation

Michael, take heed!

You are cordially invited to the wedding of

She-Schenker
~and~
Michael Schenker
February 16, 2015 at 10 pm
Location: Disney Land
'What will your wedding invitation look like?'
(QuizGalaxy.com)

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Twelve Days Of Christmas Music

(Day Four)

Dear Santa,

Please don't run over my grandma! She's nearly 100 years old and I really want her to live to attend her hundreth birthday bash.

If you must run someone over, this is a much better choice!

Osama Got Run Over By A Reindeer - Bob Rivers

Sincerely,

She-Schenker

Friday, December 15, 2006

Twelve Days Of Christmas Music

(Day Three)

Today's bit of musical Christmas joy is performed by an artist that I've had the pleasure of meeting, Gary Puckett.



Gary sings in a key with which I am not familiar, but his voice remains ever beautiful. He originally recorded this song in the late 60s for a promotional Christmas album for the W. T. Grant stores, but later rerecorded it on a Christmas album of his own.

I give you:

O Holy Night - Gary Puckett

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Twelve Days Of Christmas Music

(Day Two)



As a child of the 60s, I have a certain fondness for The Monkees. One of my favorite episodes is the Christmas episode. The main reason that I love this episode is the song that they sang at the end.

Riu Chiu - The Monkees

And there you have this year's second Christmas song to bring you true joy.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Twelve Days Of Christmas Music

(Day One)


If you turn on the radio at this time of year, you're bound to hear a whole lot of terrible Christmas music. One station in Pittsburgh boasts that they are playing Christmas music 24 hours a day! The problem is that the station probably only has about ten Christmas CDs, and they're all horrible, nothing fun, nothing but a bunch of wailing banshees and, even worse, wailing men.

We need to listen to some uplifting and fun Christmas music, not their brand of crap, so for the next twelve days I'm offering you some of my favorite Christmas tunes. Some are silly and snarky, some are classics, all are better than what you'll hear on the radio station from hell!

Today's offering is:
Green Christmas - The Barenaked Ladies

Now that's a song that expresses the truth about the Christmas season!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Common Ground?

Consider these things that I have in common with Michael Schenker...

1. A domineering older brother who calls himself Rudy. The age difference between my brother and me is about the same as it is between Michael and his brother.

2. The addictive personality.

3. A fondness for George Harrison.

4. GUITARS! (obviously)

5. We both seem to have a way of attracting people who wish to insult us to our websites.

6. We both also know how to tell the aforementioned assholes to fuck off!

That's some mighty interesting common ground. I think that we should be friends.

Monday, December 11, 2006

I Am Certifiable!

I bought these when I was at the Hard Rock Café yesterday. I did not bother to check the price...



They are a dozen Fender medium guitar picks, the tortoiseshell kind that I haven't been able to find for ages, bearing the Hard Rock logo.

The price...
$6.99!

The scary thing is that I still would have bought them, even if I had known the outrageousness of the price beforehand!

Picks like these aren't easy to come by these days, even without the logo.

All that I have to say is that the big green guitar pick eating monster had better not come by my house looking to have these for a snack!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

If...

I could send a Christmas present to Michael Schenker, I'd send him one of these.



Such a cute, cuddly Hard Rock bear, and he's got a Flying V, just like Michael!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Rock On!

"There is no way to heavy metal
heavy metal is the way."


These cats are inclined to agree...



The metal cats

OK, stop laughing, it's not THAT funny.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Lennon Remembered



It's hard to believe that it has been twenty-six years since this great singer/songwriter/guitarist was so cruelly taken from us.

I remember the day well.

I had just returned to my college dorm after spending the weekend at home for my mom's birthday. I found my roommate crying. "John Lennon is dead," she told me. I couldn't believe it until I turned on the radio and verified that it was true. It still seems like a bad dream sometimes...

Rest in peace, beloved John.
You will live forever in the hearts of Beatles fans the world over.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Thursday Thirteen



Winter weather (snow) has arrived!
In honor of this fact, my thirteen for this week is:

Thirteen reasons that I hate winter

1. High heating bills. I can't stand to be cold and refuse to set my thermostat below 72°F.

2. Holidays! There are just too many of them at this time of year.

3. The days are too short. I develop light deprivation depression.

4. Driving when it snows is a nightmare!

5. Long hours at work due to the holidays, and later taxes.

6. I can't go to any concerts because of the unpredictable weather.

7. I'm always tired (see #3 & #5).

8. Sweaters make me itch!

9. Sniffle.... Cold & flu season!

10. I go to work in the dark and come home in the dark.

11. Lots of bad memories associated with tis time of year (deaths, etc.).

12. Dead animals! I'm sick of having to look at hunters' fresh kills! BLECH!

13. I do not have Michael Schenker to keep me warm!!!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Hump Day Hunk

I'm tired and I need something pretty to look at...





Ah, I feel better now!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I'm Getting Michael For Christmas!

Alas, it won't be the real thing under the tree...



But I shall be getting Assault Attack and Rock Will Never Die from my oldest son.

Such a good boy. I wonder how he knew...

Monday, December 04, 2006

Nobody Told Me There Would Be Days Like These!

It was all just so damned weird. As usual on Monday, I was bogged down with mail and running very late. It was nearly 3 PM and I was only halfway through my route!

My phone rings. I look at my caller ID and see that it is Greg...
You know, my former sub, the gorgeous 26 year old male one who got his ass fired because he never wanted to work...
He said that he wanted to stay in touch, but why the hell was he calling now, I wondered.

"What the hell do you want?!" I say as I answer the phone.
OK, so that's probably not the nicest way to answer the phone, but he knows me, and (ARGH!) now he also knows that I still have his number on my speed dial.

"Did you see me? You didn't see me! I just passed you. I was waving and blowing kisses!" he says.



For crying out loud, if he wants to do the "Mrs. Robinson" thing with me, all he has to do is say the word!
But I really think that he just likes to fuck with my head.
Typical man!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Another Weekend Gone

And just what did I accomplish this weekend?

The best thing that I did was probably my going to church this morning for the first time in ages. I really didn't feel like going, but Michael had to be there for his confirmation class. It would have been stupid of me to drop him off and have to come back in an hour to pick him up.

When all was said and done, I was quite glad that I stayed. I too often neglect the spiritual side of my being...



My Christmas tree is now up, decorated while listening to Christmas tunes by Twisted Sister! What a hoot! Everybody should own a copy of A Twisted Christmas.

I got a few presents bought this weekend as well, so I guess the weekend wasn't a total loss.

Still, I would have rather sat around doing nothing except listening to music and perhaps playing a few Christmas tunes on my guitars...
Michael swears that he knows where my Christmas sheet music is...

Saturday, December 02, 2006

HELP!

I've just returned home from the depths of Hell!
Yes, I was stupid enough to go to Wal Mart at this time of year...

They did not have half of what I went there to get, the other people there were EVIL (and saying that is being kind), and of course, the vast majority of the checkout lines were closed, so the lines were horrendous!



And so the holiday shopping season begins....

It's a shame that I live in Pennsylvania, perhaps the only state in the U.S. where they cannot sell wine and beer at Wal Mart. I could've used a drink after leaving that place!

Friday, December 01, 2006

It's Been A Bad Day!

I won't even go into the details...
I am so ready to put on Thank You 4, crawl into bed, and have sweet dreams of Michael Schenker...