A Legacy Of Laughter
Scattered about Grandma's house were many papers on which she had written little jokes and witticisms. There were also several jokes that had been typed or photocopied. The joke that follows must have been one of her favorites, because there were several copies.
Behold the wit of my ornery Grandma!
Father Murphy was a priest in a very poor parish.He asked for suggestions as to how to raise money for his church. He was told that horse owners always had money, so he went to a horse auction, but made a very poor buy, the horse turned out to be a donkey! However,he thought he might as well enter the donkey in the races.
The donkey came in third, and the next morning the headlines in the paper read - "FATHER MURPHY'S ASS SHOWS." The archbishop saw the paper and was very displeased. The next day the donkey came in first and the headlines read - "FATHER MURPHY'S ASS OUT IN FRONT." The archbishop was up in arms and figured that something had to be done. In the meantime Father Murphy had entered the donkey for the third race and it came in second. Now the headlines declared - "FATHER MURPHY'S ASS BACK IN PLACE." The archbishop thought thiss is too much so he forbade the priest to enter the donkey the next day, which inspired the local editor to write - "ARCHBISHOP SCRATCHES FATHER MURPHY'S ASS."
When the archbishop heard this, he ordered the priest to get rid of the donkey. He was unable to sell it, so he gave it to Sister Agatha for a pet. The news headlines then read - "NUN OWNS BEST ASS IN TOWN." When the archbishop heard this, he ordered Sister Agatha to dispose of the animal at once. She sold the donkey for ten dollars. The next day the headlines read - "SISTER AGATHA PEDDLES HER ASS FOR TEN DOLLARS."
They buried the archbishop three days later.
Behold the wit of my ornery Grandma!
Father Murphy was a priest in a very poor parish.He asked for suggestions as to how to raise money for his church. He was told that horse owners always had money, so he went to a horse auction, but made a very poor buy, the horse turned out to be a donkey! However,he thought he might as well enter the donkey in the races.
The donkey came in third, and the next morning the headlines in the paper read - "FATHER MURPHY'S ASS SHOWS." The archbishop saw the paper and was very displeased. The next day the donkey came in first and the headlines read - "FATHER MURPHY'S ASS OUT IN FRONT." The archbishop was up in arms and figured that something had to be done. In the meantime Father Murphy had entered the donkey for the third race and it came in second. Now the headlines declared - "FATHER MURPHY'S ASS BACK IN PLACE." The archbishop thought thiss is too much so he forbade the priest to enter the donkey the next day, which inspired the local editor to write - "ARCHBISHOP SCRATCHES FATHER MURPHY'S ASS."
When the archbishop heard this, he ordered the priest to get rid of the donkey. He was unable to sell it, so he gave it to Sister Agatha for a pet. The news headlines then read - "NUN OWNS BEST ASS IN TOWN." When the archbishop heard this, he ordered Sister Agatha to dispose of the animal at once. She sold the donkey for ten dollars. The next day the headlines read - "SISTER AGATHA PEDDLES HER ASS FOR TEN DOLLARS."
They buried the archbishop three days later.
