Gratitude List

I was feeling particularly crappy today, about an inch away from going out and getting plastered. One call to my sponsor and one meeting later, I find myself saddled with the task of writing a gratitude list.

This is supposed to help me get things into perspective, so here goes...

I am grateful that...

1. I have a job that pays enough for me to keep food on the table.

2. I have a roof over my head.

3. I have friends who I can talk to when I'm feeling crappy.

4. I have my own car and a valid driver's license.

5.I have no serious health problems.

6. My debt to the IRS has been paid.

7. I have two wonderful sons who are much better than their mom at staying out of trouble.

7. I own a Fender DG 16 twelve string guitar. Damn! I love that thing!

8. I have two half decent computers that I can call my own and a broadband internet connection.

9. I have no criminal record, although God only knows that I've done some things that could have earned me one.

10.I have plenty of vacation days that I can use if work gets me to feeling too frazzled.

I suppose that's enough gratitude for now...

Awwwwwwww!

This kitty is just too damned cute!

Office Signs

A co-worker sent these to me. I thought that they were quite accurate and amusing, so I decided to share!

Our new message pads





Posted by management



The employees' response



Now, don't you all want to run out and get jobs working for the USPS?!

Wordless Wednesday

God, Grant Me The Serenity

To accept the things I cannot change....

I thought that I had come to terms with this until someone mentioned to me that it was a year ago today that Joe died...
I found myself feeling near to tears and guilt ridden all over again.

This is why:

Joe was a big ol' biker dude. Pretty intimidating to look at, but a real sweetie. You couldn't find many nicer guys. But Joe had his problems with women, with addiction...

Since Joe lived on my route we often chatted.
On one particular occasion he told me that he'd like to have some good sex just one time before he committed suicide. Brushing it off as a really bad line for hitting on me I told him, "You don't want to do that, Joe. I'd probably be the one to find your dead rotting carcass, and I'd be traumatized for life! You don't want to do that to me, do you Joe?"

About a week later, Joe was dead. He filled himself with booze and pills and went out on his motorcycle (without a helmet) and crashed. Although it was officially ruled an accident, those who knew Joe know that it was suicide...

I kept thinking then (and today) that I should have known. I should have done something, said something, and maybe Joe would still be here...

I know that it is foolish to think this. That no person can control another's actions, but my heart tells me something different...

I miss Joe. I wish that there was something that I could do to set things right.

Manic Monday

You’ve won $100,000 – but have to give it all away. To which charity or institution would you donate it?
No doubt about it, my money would go to The Humane Society Of The United States.
Protecting animals is important to me. They can't do it for themselves.

What do you think is the most soothing sound?
Michael Schenker on acoustic guitar...
(Big surprise, huh!)



This is one of the albums that brings me sweet dreams every night!

Does time heal all wounds?
No, it may deaden the pain a bit, but some wounds never heal.

What's On My Mind

~ Where did the weekend go? Oh, I forgot. I didn't get one this week!

~ When will I ever be able to get that new iPod for Michael so that I can have his old one?

~ Will all of those people sporting those "We support America's military heroes" bumper stickers kindly go tell a Veitnam vet that he's a hero? I doubt it. But why not? Iraq... Vietnam... Both pointless, senseless battles in places where the U.S. has no right to be.

~ Am I the only person in the world who loves Michael Schenker? Everywhere I go I see people talking about him like he's some sub-human piece of shit. It pisses me off! I want to tell them all to go fuck off. They just don't understand.

She Looks Like I Feel

I hate working overtime. It leaves me feeling tired and drained, kinda like Tiacie looks up there! I DO like the extra money on my paycheck, though...

I want... SLEEP!
And at least I can think of better places than atop a computer monitor to get it.

But I'm A Guitarist...

This is so very wrong, yet so very right...

You Should Play the Accordion

You are eccentric, funky, wacky... definitely one of a kind. People have trouble putting you in any one particular category. You definitely have your own thing going on. You are a born entertainer. No wonder you'd be perfect as an one man (or one woman) band. Your musical influences likely cross all genres - and blend together in a very unusual way. While you are definitely offbeat, you also enjoy tradition and influences from the past. It's just your style to take an old fashioned instrument like the accordion and make it uniquely yours. Your dominant personality characteristic: your total inhibition Your secondary personality characteristic: your interest in obscure activities and subjects

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

Thursday Thirteen

Since getting my sorry ass back into a 12 step group, I've been pondering things spiritual. Praying doesn't come easily to an agnostic like myself, but I DO know that there is SOMETHING out there with a power greater than that of humanity. I suppose that could be the God of my understanding.

Thirteen qualities of the God of MY understanding

1. The God of my understanding is neither male nor female.

2. The God of my understanding does not care about religion, but rather about how you live your life.

3. The God of my understanding does not damn folks to hell. God instead lets us create our own personal hells here on earth.

4. The God of my understanding does not peer into anyone's bedroom with a condemning eye, as long as the actions taking place are those of consenting adults.

5. The God of my understanding has a great sense of humor. God created ME, after all!

6. The God of my understanding lives within the hearts of all of the people around me.

7. The God of my understanding has no chosen people. God loves all people equally.

8. The God of my understanding will forgive ANY sin of someone who is truly sorry.

9. The only things that the God of my understanding considers to be sinful are actions which harm others.

10. The God of my understanding spoke to humanity through Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, Moses, and countless others.

11. The God of my understanding loves all creatures great and small, both human and animal.

12. The God of my understanding does not see things in black and white. There is NOTHING that is always right or always wrong. Circumstances do matter.

13. The God of my understanding will speak to me, quietly, through my own thoughts that I know did not come from within me.

Wordless Wednesday

Lyrics To Live By

"Baby, we're not looking for eternity
So smile now
While you're looking for this serenity..."

~ Phil Mogg ~
Serenity - UFO

Manic Monday

If you could enter a racehorse in the Kentucky Derby, what would you name your horse?
One thing that I've noticed about racehorses, most of them have rather long, strange names...
My horse: A beautiful palimino named The Mad Axeman's Revenge

What famous person, whom many people find attractive, is most unappealing to you?
You're asking this question of a woman who usually look at People Magazine's World's Sexiest Men issue and says, "They've got to be joking!"

Some male celebrities that do absolutely NOTHING for me:
George Clooney
Patrick Dempsey
Orlando Bloom
Sean Connery

Other women seem to find these guys incredibly attractive, though....

Which foreign country are you least interested in visiting?
Deutschland AKA Germany!!!!
I don't want to visit. I want to LIVE there with my beloved Michael.

Who Knew?

That ceiling cat was a Catholic!



Gotta love the ceiling cat.

Step 1

That's where I am right now, and quite frankly, it is where I need to stay.

"We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanagable."

I've been there before. Thought I got it, but eventually let go of it.
How could it be the alcohol making my life such a mess?
It was my friend. It could take away all of those things in my life that I didn't want to feel....
I didn't want to be some alcoholic freak who could never have a drink!

Alas, my extended research has shown me that that is exactly what I am.
Sure, sometimes I stopped at just one, but when I was finished, I started obsessing on the next one, even if it was to be a week or a month later.
The gaps became shorter to days, then hours...
It led me to people, places and things that left me wondering where the me that I used to be had gone...

And so, here I am at step 1 again. I won't rush forward. I will grasp it. Accept it. Do what I must to hold on to the me that I nearly lost...

Shop-a-holic? Not Me!

I think that perhaps I got this result because all of the questions were about girlie things like clothes and shoes...

You're a Window Shopper!

You know that shopping's a blast, but you prefer to save your money You hardly ever give into an impulse buy, unless it's a total steal You've always got the most money of your friends - and you never have to borrow And you've got a nice wardrobe too ... of classic pieces that last years!

Do You Shop More Than Most Women?

You can bet my results would have been much different had the questions been about music, electronics, or guitars!

Ceiling Cat!

LOL

Wordless Wednesday

A Moment Of Silence, Please

Dear God,
We pray that you will help all of your children who call you by many different names to learn to understand and respect each other's different perceptions of you so that no actions such as those of September 11, 2001 will ever again be taken in your good and holy name.
Amen

Manic Monday

If you could "un-invent" one thing in the world so that it would no longer exist, what would you choose?
I gave a lot of thought to this one and decided to just leave everything be. If I even eliminated something I believed was good for nothing but evil, it may still cause something of great good never to invented, so...
Alas I shall not even "uninvent" nuclear weapons.

Monday morning you usually waking up thinking:
"Good God! Is it time for me to go back to work already?!"

Do you find it easy to ask for help? Why or why not?
I hate to ask for help. I like to think of myself as being fairly self-sufficient. I often refuse help, even when it is offered and I really could use it. Needless to say, this often gets me into a spot of trouble.
Just one of many interesting attributes of the addictive personality, or so I am told.

I Propose A Trade!

I think that Michael Schenker and I should trade brothers for a while.
Seriously, it shouldn't be too difficult for either one of us. They're both named Rudy and are around the same age, and quite frankly they're both OBNOXIOUS!

Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but five minutes spent with him and I'm ready for the funny farm. He drives me fucking crazy!

I figure that if Michael and I trade for a while, well we'll each get to experience a slightly different brand of obnoxious, and since it is merely a substitute brother, there would be no guilt involved for either of us if we decided that said substitute brothers needed a good ass-whooping!

Save The Polar Bears!

We all know that I love animals.
(almost as much as I love Michael Schenker)

So, I was horrified when I read the following news report....

"Two-thirds of the world's polar bear population could be gone by midcentury if predictions of melting sea ice hold true, the U.S. Geological Survey reported on Friday.

The fate of polar bears could be even bleaker than that estimate, because sea ice in the Arctic might be vanishing faster than the available computer models predict, the geological survey said in a report aimed at determining whether the big white bear should be listed as a threatened species."

Oh, my goodness! I hope those predictions don't hold true.
We must remember that we are not the only ones living on this planet and do everything we can to assure that it remains fit for all of God's creatures who make their homes here.

Words Of Wisdom

As I was driving home from work the other day, I saw a bumper sticker on someone's car with a message so beautiful and profound that I felt compelled to share it.

It Said:

"God bless the whole world
No exceptions!"

If only the bible thumping, flag waving, so-called Christians in our country would adopt this attitude, our nation (and probably the rest of the world) would be a much better place.

It Has Been Pointed Out To Me

That all guitarists are a bunch of drunks...

Well, I'll be goddamned!
It's not about that first drink.
Oh, no.
It seems that I should have never picked up that first GUITAR!

Wordless Wednesday

The Sandal Quiz

One of the strangest I've taken so far...

You are Wedge Sandals

Bohemian and sexy You're a free spirit - both in life and in fashion You have a style all your own, and it turns heads!

What Kind of Sandal Are You?

Manic Monday

What is one thing that you wanted to do this summer but didn't?
I really wanted to go to Atlantic City again, but finances would not allow it...

If you lived a hundred years ago, what job would you've had?
I'd probably hold some sort of disreputable job, 'cos I sure as hell wouldn't want any of the other few options open to women back then...

What are some of the most persistent and challenging obstacles in your everyday life?
Controlling my addictive personality, especially when it comes to alcohol and food.

My Politics Are Showing

I can't wait until this VERY lame duck is out of office...

Water Battle!

~Giggles~


I've lost my Scorpion tail and donned a bathing suit and blonde wig, just for the festivities!

OMFG!
I'm so childish...